What’s your agenda?

Posted: September 8, 2013 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

We all go into things hoping for the best. Whether that’s a business partnership, job, love relationship or friendship. Sometimes, things go pear shaped and that’s even more devastating when it happens within families.

When a proposition is put forward, and it’s something you want, there is the initial excitement. You then dot your ‘i’s and cross your ‘t’s’, you research, you discuss and you try and examine the success or otherwise of your venture. In the case of relationships, sometimes we just leap in boots ‘n all.

What we fail to sometimes consider is our own true intentions and that of the other person, and unless we are honest about this, disappointment will inevitably follow when things don’t go to plan. When it goes pear shaped, we search for the reason, and then play the blame game.

But it’s a bit more complex than that. The reason we sometimes fail, is that we are not consciously aware of our own intentions or agendas, and we haven’t thought through what the other’s intentions or agenda might be. In a partnership of any kind it takes honesty and a healthy dose of realism to be upfront with yourself about why you’re doing something.

If you’re committing to a business relationship, then why, and it’s generally not just because you ‘like’ the other person. It could be because you lack the confidence to go it alone and need a partner who is not afraid to give something a go. If this is the case, then admit it to yourself upfront and lay down the ground rules from the beginning. ‘I’d like to get more involved in x further down the track when I see how it’s done…’

Approaches like this are far better than waiting for the disenchanted partner to accuse you of not pulling your weight in the business. And consider your business partner might be taking you on because he/she simply needs your investment and really doesn’t want your involvement anyway….or whatever. Or maybe he/she is a closet bully and really likes you being passive – and won’t be so happy when you’re more assertive.

The point is, that unless you are honest with yourself and realistic about other people’s intentions and agendas, then you are being naive and likely to be disappointed down the track.

What’s all this got to do with anything, I can hear you thinking. Well, we enter formal and informal ‘contracts’ all the time, and doing it right in the beginning or even doing it the best you can and pointing it in the right direction, may just save a lot of grief later on.

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