A friend in need

Posted: November 3, 2012 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , ,

We all know friendship shouldn’t be taken for granted. We value our friends. Sure. Sure we do. But in the race that is life, with a myriad of things on our mind – work, home, children, keeping fit, watching the diet, looking after extended family, friends tend to slide down the ladder of priority.

It’s not until we’re in need that we look to our friends to come calling and if they are true friends, they’ll be there. I’ve had many good friends over my lifetime, a handful of whom are still there. We might not see each other every day or every month, but whenever we reconnect, we pick right up where we left off.

That’s the thing about friends, they understand you. Sometime in the distant past, when you were annoying, or going through a drama queen stage, or being egotistical and selfish, they sized you up and decided that the good outweighed the bad. They decided that you always had something to offer them, and they wanted to keep offering you their best. Maybe it was the way you laughed together, or the fact you could still be talking six hours later when they came to visit and still only have told them a third of what was happening in your life since last you met.

Whatever it was, there was a glue that held you together and made you decide that you would always have parallel lives, that you would never lose touch for too long on life’s travels.

And then there are the friends that stay only a short-time. You go through some pretty awesome experiences together, get along well and share the good times but when the bad times come, the glue just wasn’t strong enough. Or it’s simpler, you just move on with your lives and make new friends.

I always guiltily approach any friendship ending, because I value friends highly. I question why the friendship didn’t last. Examine the nuances and try to determine what went wrong, but the simple truth is that not all people are meant to continue the journey with you which makes the ‘stayers’ all the more important.

I like to think that destiny brought the ‘stayers’ into my life – like when my husband showed up on the scene, or that my three wonderful children came into this world as mine to nurture and grow, or the sisters I was was lucky enough to get. I sure got lucky with destiny, it seems.

The ‘stayers’ are all special people. They are there with advice and support when the chips are down, and they’re there for the good times as well. I have so many ‘ah ha’ moments with the ‘stayers’ and we’ve weathered some storms too. Petty annoyances that you have to get over, and the more serious like having an argument and being strong enough to say sorry. Or breaking that year-long silence that resulted from something stupid one of us said, but neither one of us addressed at the time.

Friends, the ‘stayers’ are gold amongst the rubble of life. They are not false shadows, only there when the sun is shining. They are there in the darkest of hours before the dawn. Thank God for the ‘stayers’. They have taught me what real friendship is.

  1. Kim says:

    You have managed to write my sentiments as well…glad you are in my life.

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